Thursday, December 28, 2006

All it takes is a twist of the cap...

Since this is the end of another year, it's time for everyone to revel in the past year and celebrate a new year. That's all good, don't get me wrong. Year's ago this used to be my favorite time because I sure celebrated. Too much.

Christmas Eve I took Weena and Benjamin to a local country club's golf course to see someone I greatly admire, Jim. I wanted him to meet my family. Without his advice, assistance and guidance over the years I do not know if I would be in the position I am in right now. Jim and I are both recovering alcoholics.

I have almost eighteen years and Jim has close to fifty years. When I was very early in my sobriety I went to see Jim knowing he was sober. I always did things my way and something told me to go see him and for once, just shut up and listen. I did and later he suggested occupying my down time on weekends by working at the golf course. So for three years I worked my regular job at a bank and a part time job at the golf course on weekends.

During the slow times at the golf shop, we would converse and share thoughts on alcoholism. Call it a mini AA meeting if you will. This time period helped me greatly and without that I'm not sure I would have remained sober. At the time I went to see Jim, I missed the weekend revelry, missed the friends I had made, missed the bottled beer and missed the bars. AA meetings were very helpful, I was learning a lot there but at that particular time I needed more than just a roomful of drunks talking. The golf course offered me an opportunity to keep me occupied and I took advantage of it.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve with Jim meeting Benjamin and Weena. He could see the smile on my face as I introduced my family and he said softly "Program works". Absolutely and then we proceeded to talk more about our drinking days and ways. For me, it helps to talk about this a lot because it is a reminder of where I have been and also for me not to get too relaxed in thinking this is over with just because I have not had a drink in almost eighteen years. Jim asked if I have ever had someone tell me "Hey, you haven't touched a drop of alcohol in -x- number of years, you got it beat!"

Sure, that happens a lot I told Jim and I said I keep one thought in mind..."All it takes is a twist of the cap. A twist of the cap and I am on my way to losing all I had accomplished". See, I cannot have just one or two beers. Oh sure, maybe I could try but then my old way of thinking would eventually come back and I would be consuming six and twelve packs like I used to. I tell myself each day that today I will not drink.

It's a daily battle, something I don't have beat. See, all it takes is a twist of the cap....

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